I am taking a little break from daily blogging for 3 reasons.
1. My Mom is in town, yay!
2. The end of July is like the beginning and end of the year for me, mentally speaking. I reflect on how far or little we have come and am flooded with emotions that I may have been suppressing from Brody's death and see how far we have come with Madison and her starting full-day kindergarten in 2 short weeks.
3. With all the changes that have been happening to my little family over the coarse of a few months I I feel outa-wack. From Madison being very very sick, selling our house, packing and moving from California to Missouri was ALOT for me mentally, physically and emotionally.
Those 3 things are major things to deal with once a year! I had to process and deal with all of that in the matter of 2 MONTHS and keep my wits about me to make decisions etc...
At one point in the beginning of Madison's hospitalization and illness, I was holding on to everything so tight that no matter how hard I wanted to change outcomes or speed up the coarse of her illness so we can focus on recovery, ALL I was doing was making myself sick.
One thing I was so thankful for was being able to recognize how I was making myself feel. At a quiet moment, walking around the hospital halls, I had to close my eyes and say, "God take the wheel, I am not in control of how fast Madison is going to recover or how fast the whole house selling process is or worry about packing and moving everything across several states." I needed to let go of what was weighing me down, so I could be present for my family. I prayed for him to give me the strength and courage to do what needed to be done and to help guide me in the right direction.
-Once I left it to God, prayed to him multiple times a day and kept positive that it'll all work out the way it's suppose to...it did, in its own way-
We have to remind ourselves daily that everything is going to work out, you have to just keep chugging along in the right direction of your vision or goals for yourself/family and some how-some way it has an odd way of turning out. If I asked myself 10 years ago that one day you and your husband are going to sell your house, pack your family up and move to Missouri to pursue your dream I wouldn't of believed it for one second. BUT fast forward 10 years to present time, we took that leap of faith and new with-outta-doubt it was the right decision for us to make. God made it easy for us to see, it was a no-brainer when opportunity presented itself, We LOVE it here. It's everything we have been envisioning, you have to jump and take that leap although your not sure where your going to land.
*(I know this is a lengthy post but this brings me to topic number two about how I've been feeling)*
On the Mom front, we put A LOT of pressure on ourselves as Moms and Doubt ourselves all the time about whether we are making the right decisions or are we doing the right thing, did I show them how much I care about them enough...
We worry about how other Moms are going to look at us, do we look like we have it all together...etc.
I will be the first to admit that I don't have it all together, my kids fight in the check out lines at stores, they act bratty, they both act like complete maniacs at times and I have to take a deep breath, not let myself loose my cool and punish certain behaviors and know when to pick my battles with
They will take me all 12 rounds for sure!
It gets exhausting...parenting is the hardest job by FAR!!! As soon as you think you got it figured out, you don't. They mature, your dealing with different attitudes and now have to figure out a whole new game plan...again...
My motto as of late when it come to parenting is enjoy those "Mehaffey Moments", the good-the bad-and the ugly.
Enjoy my time with the kids before they BOTH start school, make memories with them big or small, and don't sweat the small stuff because your time flies by and I want to know I made the most of it with them.
My life motto as of late is "Jesus take the wheel!"
Trust your gut and know when to admit that you don't know what the he$$ you are doing, and to change things up if things aren't working, if you are not getting result-CHANGE!
For the next few weeks before the kids start school I am going to be spending as much time with them as possible. In that time I am also going to be contemplating the vision for what I see for this blog long term...I might be changing things up a bit; I feel a change coming...
"If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there trying"
Have a Great Day-Week-Month and I will see ya soon,